She does what she's does.

Monday Rant. . .

I made a couple of mistakes this morning. First, I turned on the TV. That’s a big no-no, I’m supposed to be writing. Second, I left it on until Kathy Lee and Hoda came on. Bigger no-no.

Almost immediately the two “Stepford Wives” brought up the Bill Clinton Foundation 65th birthday bash that appeared on Yahoo Sunday night and conveyed their disapproval. They played the tape of Lady Gaga singing on stage in front of the Clintons wearing a body suit. Apparently, she first came out wearing a Marilyn Monroe costume and then stripped down. Very inappropriate, they said with pursed lips.

Duh, it’s Lady Gaga. The Clintons invited her. That’s what she does! Why these two grown women who live in Manhattan are so conservative is beyond me.

I don’t like Kathy Lee. Never have. Does anybody like her? She must pay NBC to be on that show. I think Hoda and anybody else might be better, but I’m skeptical.

So after ranting to myself until 11:00AM, I turned the channel to the View and guess what? Whoopi Goldberg and Barbara Walters thought Lady Gaga was great!!

I know, I’ve ranted about KL and H before and why do I make the mistake of watching their show when I’m supposed to be writing.

You’re right, I know you’re right. I make myself nuts!

Okay – rant over.

Related articles

• Lady Gaga serenades Bill Clinton in Marilyn Monroe moment (internetbillboards.net)

Where's the sand??

Every morning when I get on the computer, within five minutes, I’ll see ad or a news article about Alzheimer’s disease. This may sound terrible but I’m tired of hearing about it. Okay, I’m 58 and scared to death of the disease!

If I see that commercial one more time for the Alzheimer’s drug with the woman and her daughter I’ll scream. I don’t even know the name of the drug and I don’t want to know. My mother had that same dazed look in her eyes as the woman in the ad and I don’t want to see it again. I mute it when it comes on and turn my head. Childish? Maybe.

Both of my parents passed away with illnesses related to Alzheimer’s, although, I believe it was more depression and anxiety related than Alzheimer’s, but what do I know. This was back in the days when they weren’t sure what caused it or how to detect it.  I still remember asking a psychologist at the ‘home’ if my dad really had Alzheimer’s and she said, “Honey, they all do.” WTF!

My Dad died in 2004 and Mom passed in 2008 and I think it’s great that researchers continuously search for answers. Early detection is great but does it really help  knowing that we’re going to eventually die of Alzheimer’s disease?  Why, so I can get my final papers in order? I already have a living will that says do not resuscitate and I want my ashes spread over one of the Finger Lakes in upstate New York. But, what I don’t want is wondering if every time I have a ‘senior moment’, it’s related to the upcoming disaster of the disease.

I guess it just scares the hell out of me knowing that I’ll probably end up in the same situation as Mom and Dad. I probably should want to find out more. I do honestly and selfishly hope for a cure because I really can’t see my kids being well off enough financially to care for me, let alone wanting to care for me. I wouldn’t want that, anyway.

The last thing I want is to become a burden to my children and have them say, ‘Mom is finally at peace now,’ at my funeral.  Ugh!

Hopefully my feelings will change about the new drugs and whether I will want to know if I’m going to get ‘it’, but these days I take comfort in knowing that I have a bottle of sleeping pills in my medicine cabinet. I just hope I remember where they are when I need them.

Related articles

• Identifying earliest stages of Alzheimer’s disease (sciencedaily.com)

Image by Bibliothèque de Toulouse via Flickr

I started writing this article for Empowher.com (shameless plug); it was topic was originally about hormonal fluxuations. But my fingers and hormoneless mind gotten carried away, and well, you’ll see…

The first sign of puberty shows up when an adolescent female (let’s call her Destiny) begins producing luteinizing hormone (LH) and follicle-stimulating hormone (FSH).

Destiny’s body begins to mature as she starts getting breasts and begins her period. Boys pick on her if her boobs grow large too early and pass her by if they aren’t big enough. If that’s not enough to make the poor thing miserable, throw in creating a monthly cycle with estrogen fluctuations that cause cramps, mood swings, headaches, etc.

Puberty alone proves that god is a man. However…

Destiny grows into a lovely young woman. She becomes pregnant with her first child. Everybody says she’s “glowing”, but who wouldn’t when hormone levels rise and drop every 48 to 72 hours! As the baby grows within her, Destiny becomes exhausted, moody, and it feels like a truck is parked on her bladder. By the nine month, Destiny just wants to have the damn thing (this is her hormones talking, of course.

Little does she know, that once the baby is born, sleep and relaxation will be a distance memory.

For the next 20-30 years, the hormones in Destiny’s body resemble a wild and crazy circus ride. PMS (premenstrual syndrome) and PMDD (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) symptoms cause her husband to run to the nearest bar complaining to his friends that’s it’s “that time of the month”. A Goddess would not allow that to happen. She would at least give Destiny’s husband ‘sympathy’ cramps and maybe a little spotting.

Destiny reaches her 40s, the so-called prime of a woman’s life. The kids are off to college, she has more time to exercise, go out with friends, and enjoy a regular sex life again. But, noooo! Perimenopause sets in and gives her vaginal dryness, weight gain, and periods from Hell. During this time, the male God has planted the mid-life crisis seed into the brain of Destiny’s husband, who is now off looking for a younger woman.

Finally, 10 years later, the hot flashes and night sweats are almost gone and the battle of the belly fat is in progress. The good news is that menopause has depleted Destiny’s body of hormones and left her with the option of HRT (Hormone Replacement Therapy) or alternative remedies.

Destiny continues to lead a healthy life as long as she exercises regularly, eats right, doesn’t smoke, drink alcohol, or get hooked on any of the pain medication her doctor has prescribed.

Some say God is a woman and she did all this to make women stronger.

I say God is a man because a woman would never play with the hormonal levels of her fellow BFFs.

What do you say?

(This post is meant to be humorous and not-at-all disrespectful in a religious or men-bashing nature.)

boomer woman (me) - copyright protected by me

Monday morning rant.

Now that I am working from my ‘home office’, I have the luxury of watching morning television once in a while. I watch the Today Show to get updated on the world just enough so I know the sky is not falling.

I have also found some good blogging ideas from the little blips concerning women in general. I say ‘women in general’ but, in reality, it focuses mostly on mommies. I have a rant about that but I’ll save it for my next post.

I usually turn it off by 10AM, but instead started half-listening something on Kathie-Lee and Hoda about how beautiful, symmetrical faces and bodies get more attention. Yes, we’ve all heard this before and it didn’t seem like Kathie and Hoda were going to provide any more info on this fact so I shut them off. What what galls me is why does the media still focus on the beautiful people in America?? In reality, there’s not that many.

I mean really, America, we aren’t a purist nation. We have Irish, Jewish, African, Latino, French, Italian, Greek, and everything mixed together, but the U.S. media still wants to shove the beautiful young white woman in our faces and minds every single day and they tend to leave out what real American women look like. The young ones with zits and frizzy hair, the mommies with post-prego-paunch. The boomers like us with wrinkles and thunder-thighs. The media talks about these issues enough, but who is the model they portray on the magazine cover? A 20-something, 90 pound, symmetrical woman, usually white. (I’m also white, but have an Irish mug so there!)

I’m hooked on British TV. In my opinion, the mysteries and comedies are much less predictable than TV in the U.S, therefore, they give me something to think about. And the people on British TV are clearly not symmetrical. If you’ve ever watched British TV, you know that when they choose British actors for these shows, it’s because of their talent not their looks (with the exception of Helen Mirren, of course).

Maybe this rant is because I watch these British shows so often and other foreign movies (we get our netflix fix every Saturday night), the glam people are more noticeable to me on Monday mornings. But, I don’t think so.

I believe that U.S. Media has totally brainwashed us into thinking we all have to look like one type of beautiful woman who is on the cover of Cosmo or Vogue. They talk about the young girls being too thin and becoming anorexic, what about boomer women? No, I doubt if most boomers will become anorexic, but are we just a bunch of faceless women or am I just watching the wrong TV channels?

I wrote a post last year called Where are the magazines for Boomer Babes? and I’m still ranting about that.

Your thoughts are especially appreciated.

Related articles

• Magazines’ Youthful Ideal Threatens Real Women’s Sexuality (livescience.com)

I certainly hope the younger generation doesn’t believe that all baby boomers fit into that category. I am certainly not wealthy, nor do I have the air of entitlement clouding around my head.

I am (or try to be) proud to be a boomer women, thus, the creation of this blog. When I think of our generation, I remember the war-protests, free love (and drugs), the peace sign, and the heart of rock & roll.

Okay, maybe I do live in the past a little bit, but it was a great time to be alive and be part of a turbulent and eye-opening time in history.

Now, in 2011, I have the feeling that  the younger generation has pegged us as a bunch of spoiled and entitled people who don’t care about anybody but ourselves. I would hate to see that written in the history books.

Opinions? Anyone? Anyone?

But now, to hear that she was voted ‘Best Body of 2011′ (read more), I just have to say – YOU GO, Helen!!!

To think that Helen Mirren, at age 66, beat out the likes of Elle MacPherson and Pippa Middleton?? Well, I don’t know about you, but I couldn’t have been more pleased with the news.

Although, as a boomer woman, I have to admit that I’ve been more than a little jealous of her body. I often wondered how she went through menopause and didn’t end up with the tiniest bit of meno-pudge. Does she work out everyday? Does she have a personal trainer? Has she had work done? Does she just have good genes?

Well, for whatever the reason, IMHO, it’s a real boost to boomer women-kind!  I think we should all raise our glasses and a make a toast – To Helen!

And laugh out loud at the Kates, the Jennifers, and the Pippas – I’m sure Helen is.  ;p

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UPDATE: Just before pressing publish, I found the article below. It gives away a bit of Helen’s secret.

• Helen Mirren (partially) credits Wii Fit for her “Best Body of the Year” (via Arrow Dynamic Mom) (beardietsinthewoods.wordpress.com)